SIMPLE GIFTS - CONTINUED

I have discovered that it’s not so easy to make eye contact with strangers. Here’s the way it goes: I am walking toward a person in the Walmart or Target store and as we get close, I make an effort to look directly at him/her and smile. Very often they miss the smile because they quickly look away as though I might see something in their eyes that will give them away. I wonder what I might learn about them if we make eye contact. It’s an interesting phenomenon.

If I say “hello,” he or she will sometimes respond but even then without looking directly at me. When I have actually managed to make eye contact, smile, and say something, the response has been mixed. One time, I noticed the dress that a lady was wearing and said to her, “I love the colors in your dress; reminds me of spring flowers.” Her face literally lit up and she thanked me but quickly moved on. On another occasion, I caught the eye of a lady who was looking at shampoos while I was searching for my favorite hair spray. “Don’t you wish they would stop changing the packaging on these things? I don’t recognize the product I usually buy.”

She merely grunted, shrugged her shoulders, grabbed her shampoo and left. I wondered if I looked like a mass murderer or something. This is harder than I expected. I had suspected it might be just me who avoided eye contact, but I’m finding that it is rather the norm. Is this a result of spending so much time communicating with and through computers and hand-held devices that we have become more comfortable with technology than with actual human contact? Is it a trust issue? Are we suspicious of everyone? This is one instance when I wish I was more educated in the area of human psychology..

I was checking out at Publix where the cashier was a very pretty young oriental woman with whom I was able to make eye contact. Her smile was bright and genuine. I told her that she had gorgeous hair (it was the absolute truth) and she grinned and thanked me enthusiastically. I think her day was already bright, but I might have added a little ray of sunshine. I know she made me feel better simply by looking directly at me and honoring me with that beautiful smile.

A smile is free; doesn’t cost anything, does it? Well, maybe it does. For instance, if you’re having a really awful day and someone catches your eye and smiles brightly, you may have to exert yourself to return the smile. But I’m convinced that having done so, you will have released a bit of the tension that was weighing you down.

I wonder if the reason we avoid actual communication with one another is that we can’t spare the time to be civil. Our lives are unbelievably busy; complicated; demanding; frustrating; busy . . . busy . . . busy. OVERLOAD! Computers when they become overloaded simply shut down - or crash - before they are ruined. We could learn from them. Maybe we need to simply shut down on a regular basis and refuse to answer the phone or check our email or . . .

I’m old. But one advantage to being old is that I can remember when life was a bit simpler. When we received a letter from someone, even if it required a “quick” response, no one expected that response to be instantaneous. “Immediate response” didn’t mean what it does today. The person who sent the letter knew he/she would have to wait for return mail which might be two or three days, maybe even a week.

I remember “party lines.” When I picked up the phone to call someone, there might be someone else using the line (someone not living in our house). I would have to wait my turn. And unless it was an emergency (someone in our house was bleeding to death), I had no problem waiting. Most people think that we’re better off today, but I’m not sure about that. I think a lot of people feel like they have far too much to do and not enough hours in the day. Hurry, hurry, hurry!

What do you think?

SIMPLE GIFTS

This morning when I opened my bible a little piece of paper fell out. On it, handwritten was the following:

“Middle age is when the narrow waist and the broad

mind begin to trade places.”

- Bud

I chuckled as I remembered this dear man who made so many people smile with his never-ending supply of little joys to share. Bud always had a joke to tell or a little piece of paper to slip into your hand with a cute saying, maybe an uplifting verse, or even scripture and always the quotation was signed “Bud.” Most of the jokes were what we would call “lame” and folks would shake their heads and arch a brow when they saw Bud heading toward them with “that look” on his face.

Whenever Bud told a joke, he’d watch your face and say: “There! “Made you smile, didn’t I! You’re beautiful when you smile, you know.”

Or: “Made you laugh, didn’t I? You know it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown. So you might as well smile and save your energy.”

Bud was always delighted when he could make you laugh out loud at his jokes and he’d slap you on the back and remind you: “I’ve got a million of ‘em.” And I believe he probably did have a million of them. And I believe his lovely wife, Charlotte, had heard all of them a million times during their sixty years of wedded bliss. Nevertheless, she stood by his side and smiled patiently while he shared his "simple gifts."

Bud also liked to visit friends and fellow parishioners whenever they were hospitalized and bring a little happiness into their room. He was never solemn or sad, and always seemed to know the right thing to say to bring a smile to the faces of the patients and their visiting family members. More often than not, he’d bring a small bouquet of roses from his rose garden and explain that he, not Charlotte, took care of the roses. He was proud of his green thumb.

I haven’t thought about Bud for a long time. He passed away about eight years ago after a long battle with prostate cancer. This morning, he made me smile again and started me thinking.

I reflected on how that little slip of paper had brightened my morning - maybe even my day. Such a simple thing as that silly little joke became a special gift. And I began to wonder if I could find simple little things to do every day to brighten someone else’s day. I mean, I wonder if I could make it a habit to find just one little thing every day to do to put a smile on someone’s face or to make someone feel a little better about himself or herself. Might there be some little word or gesture that might help change a bad attitude or outlook.

I thought about how often I walk through a store without making eye contact and probably miss many opportunities to say “hello” and actually see a person who might need to feel “visible” that day. A simple greeting, a tiny bit of small talk (which I’m not great at) might make all the difference to someone. A genuine “thank you” to a clerk with a “You sure look sharp today! I love the color of your shirt,” can start that person on the road to a great day, maybe the best day they’ve had in a while. I have a feeling that the person who receives this little gift will pass it on several times during the day. Kinda like the movie. What was it called? “Pay it Forward,” I think.

And I thought about how many times when greeting friends and acquaintances, I say,

“How are you?” And they respond, “Fine, thanks. How are you?”

And that’s that. And off I go. But you know, that’s not that. They may very well NOT be fine - and maybe with just a little follow-up question like, “Are you? You look a little tired. What’s going on with you,” indicating a sincere interest in their well-being, will result in some meaningful conversation or at the very least, that person feeling like maybe someone really does care how they are. And that may be enough to lift their spirits and make them feel a little better. And, yes, I might find myself on the receiving end of TMI, but I’ll call it time well-spent.

And how about a hug. Okay, you can’t be hugging anybody and everybody. But hugs are so therapeutic, maybe even magic. Bud used to say that everyone needed at least five hugs everyday to stay healthy. He was a great hugger! A firm handshake can be beneficial, but a hug says I care about you, you’re important to me, I wish you well. I believe hugs could replace most anti-depressants!

I think that Thoreau’s quote went something like this: “Most men live lives of quiet desperation.” Things haven’t changed a great deal since Thoreau’s observation. We tend to be so busy with our own individual and family needs and necessities that we generally have no idea what our friends and neighbors are going through or how utterly lonely or despondent they may be.

I’ve decided to make a list of little things I can do – like maybe write out short scripture verses, or uplifting quotes, or poems or “little funnies” and passing them out when I am out and about. And maybe each day trying to make just one person feel good about himself or herself by saying something nice about how they look or their smile or their demeanor or their service - just something to lift their spirits. I can’t fix the world by sharing these “simple gifts,” but if I can make someone feel better, even if only momentarily, it will be worth the effort. And if the smile is passed on, then our world is a tiny bit better – am I right?

I think I will dedicate this effort to Bud and maybe he’ll look down and see that what he started is being perpetuated. A living memorial to a sweet man who made everybody smile.

WHERE'S THE LOVE?

Yesterday, I received another email oozing hatefulness against our President. It’s not that this person, a dear friend of mine, simply dislikes our President or disagrees with him. The email, which had been forwarded, and who knows how many other people have received it, was spewing hatred loud and clear and was outright disgusting. I’m deeply disturbed by this type of message which exhibits a complete lack of even elemental respect for the Office of the President of the United States of America.

I’m not suggesting that we should all line up to pat him on the back and give him kudos for the great job he is doing. We may have huge differences with him regarding his policies and/or politics. But he IS the duly elected leader of this great country and as such should be treated with a modicum of respect. But more than that, the question arises: “Where’s the love?”

Are you laughing out loud? Sure you are. But, let me ask it again: “Where’s the love?” I’m standing out here on a limb now and it’s creaking, but I just can’t sit back and pretend I’m not bothered by the hatefulness that is being circulated, affecting my relationships and my respect for the people of this country. I believe that God created us all and I believe that He created us all to work together under His guidance and with His purposes in mind. It was Jesus who told us to give Caesar his due – in other words pay your taxes and don’t undermine your government (the Gospel according to Lois). If we believe that ultimately God is in charge, then we must know that no matter who is in the office of the President, we should be praying for him and if not supporting him, at least not inviting outright “assassination” and that includes character assassination, spiritual assassination and even physical assassination which is entirely possible with all the “patriots” out there who espouse Obama’s evil nature and intent.

Do you disagree with Obama? That’s certainly your privilege. And it’s a wonderful privilege, granted by virtue of being a citizen of the United States of America. We are free to voice our opinions and we are privileged to vote for our leaders. I certainly had issues with the previous Administration and intensely disliked Cheney and the way he operated. And while many felt as I did, there was never the level of outright hostility that there is today. I believe that Obama has had to deal with a boatload of problems created by the Bush Administration. Has he done everything right? No. Could you? Could anyone? This is not a job for Sissies and if nothing else, I respect Obama’s willingness to try to climb a mountain that most of us would never consider. This is not an evil man. This is a man trying to do what he thinks is right.

Instead of constant criticism and fault-finding, the people of this country need to go down on their knees and pray for America; pray for our President; pray for our environment; pray for our troops; pray for Love to gain victory over the Hatred that is so prevalent today. We need to focus on what is good about this country. We need to focus on our hope for the future of this country and the future of our children and grandchildren.

Let’s raise ourselves out of the dung heap and become the people we were created to be. Let it be said that America leads the way toward world peace. That journey must begin here, in our homes, in our churches, temples, synagogues, on the job, on the internet, on the phone, on the roads, in our city, county, state. It can’t be legislated. But it can be achieved. We can choose love over hate.

Come on, Friends, let there be peace in America.

WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?

I’m sitting here in my well-worn wicker chair enjoying a perfectly peaceful morning, watching the Cardinals and Titmice feed and the hummer darting here and there with spectacular agility, and it’s hard for me to imagine the chaos, desperation, and despair that at this moment in time is rampant in other parts of my world. Earthquakes, tornadoes, wars, disease, famine, murder and general mayhem all around me, everywhere. I know that my world is bigger than my lanai; bigger than my immediate family and my circle of friends; bigger than my city and my job; bigger than my state and bigger than my country. This big world of mine is so troubled. And here I sit . . .

Our Pastor recently asked the question that we have asked ourselves since time began: “What is your purpose here?” As Christians, we believe that our purpose is to love God and serve Him. Scripture tells us to love God with all our hearts, soul and mind, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. So, is my purpose served when I attend worship on Sunday; when I am friendly and kind to people I meet there or in the store after church, or on the street; when I give a dollar or two to the panhandler on the corner; when I send a few dollars to World Vision to help the children in Africa; when I occasionally visit a nursing home or Alzheimer Center? Or is more expected of me? Is it enough that I grieve for the victims of the Earthquakes. Is it enough that I grieve for African mothers, fathers, and children who are dying from Malaria or AIDS?

When I ask myself if I have “loved my neighbor as myself,” I have to answer truthfully that I haven’t. If my home was destroyed by an earthquake, and if I lost family members due to some tragic natural disaster, I would be there for me . . . I would spare no dollar nor effort to rebuild my life and the life of my loved ones who are so much a part of me. Yet, all I do for those fellow members of the human race who suffer such pain is send a few dollars and sit on my porch enjoying my peaceful life.

Several years ago my home was damaged when Hurricane Charlie blew through with great gusto and took my roof. Charlie was followed by two more hurricanes which were big rain-makers and although my roof had a tarp covering it, the rain made it’s way into the attic space and soon I stood in the living room and watched the ceiling fall. It’s difficult to describe the sense of loss that I experienced as I watched my home fall apart. This loss, of course, doesn’t compare with what the earthquake victims have experienced. But it helps me to get closer to understanding how devastated they must feel and to admire their strength and resiliency as they struggle to recover. Their catastrophic losses, so sudden and horrific, call for unbelievable courage and strength just to go on living. Is there something I can do to help? Is there some way to love them in the way God calls me to love them?

Seven years ago, I lost my husband after a long battle with cancer. His death was not unexpected but knowing it was coming didn’t alleviate the pain. Looking back, though, I understand that had he been taken from me suddenly and without warning, I would have suffered his loss in a very different way. Even though his long illness was difficult and painful, we had time! Time to say the things that needed to be said. Time to love one another in a way we hadn’t loved before. Time to remember all the good times and laugh at the not so good times. We were able to hold one another at the end and whisper our good-byes. I will be forever grateful for that time.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all had that kind of time to prepare . . . but life isn’t always wonderful and folks the world over suffer enormous losses, suddenly and without warning, without understanding, and without the means to recover. Am I called to do more? What is expected of me? What is my purpose?

IF WISHES WERE HORSES . . .

When I was a girl, Mom’s response to my many daydreams and wishes was always: “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.”

I wasn’t absolutely sure what that meant other than it was unlikely my wish would be granted. She was right, of course, most of those wishes didn’t come true.

For instance:

“I wish we were rich like the Hendersons, then I could have a horse.”

“I wish I could grow up to look like Loretta Young.”

“I wish my nose wasn’t so big.”

“I wish there wasn’t such a thing as cancer.”

Mom has been gone for many years, and I am still wishing, but some of those wishes have changed. Here’s a few of today’s wishes:

“I wish there was less hatred in this world.”

“I wish politicians cared more about doing the right thing than about being re-elected.”

“I wish no child would go to bed hungry tonight.”

“I wish people didn’t need drugs and alcohol to cope.”

“I wish Christmas was more about the gift of Love and less about gifts.”

“I wish the food I love didn’t make me fat or clog my arteries.”

“I wish there was no such thing as cancer.”

But, I know . . . “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.”

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

After an unusually long and cold winter in Florida, Spring arrived in my back yard, chasing out the “Old Man” and bringing with it new life. At first, I noticed tiny green tufts on the “B.S Tree” just outside my lanai. This tree belongs to the birds and squirrels, thus it’s name.

These days there is a cacophony of song out there along with some rather suggestive dance routines involving fluttering wings and bright colors in odd places. For instance, the Cat Bird has a very bright orange patch directly under his tail which you and I could miss entirely, but which is apparently something that the female Catbird must see before she’ll dance.

In not more than two or three days, those tiny green tufts on the BS Tree have already developed into full-fledged Spring Green leaves. Spring green, as opposed to autumn green, is fresh, bright and bursting with vitality. The color alone causes my spirit to soar and fills me with anticipation. No wonder the birds sing with such abandon (or it could just be the little orange patch.)

I planted seeds and welcomed the rain which would help them grow. They will be miraculously transformed into colorful Cosmos in a few weeks. All around me are signs of new life. The March winds do their job of blowing away winter debris and coating my lanai with a fine yellow dust, which results in sneezing, snorting, watery eyes, and some complaining. Not my favorite spring gift, but a necessary one. Now as the last of the crisp brown hangers-on float to the ground giving way to the Spring Green new-borns, my Oak trees seem to stand taller and prouder, promising summer shade for the garden.

When I next look, I see that the seemingly lifeless little seeds that I had placed in the dirt a few days ago have sprung to life and I can’t help but smile. How is this possible? My logical mind cannot understand this miracle, but my heart understands. Our God is an awesome God!

I am reminded anew that we are the recipients of a precious gift every morning: God’s unfailing love, freshly wrapped today in the promises of Spring. At this time of the year, the words “He Lives,” become in my heart, “We Live.”

In my Garden, where he walks with me and talks with me, I am thrilled and humbled by the breathtaking beauty of His creation. I am forever grateful for His enduring faithfulness and love expressed in so many ways every day, every season of the year, throughout our lives. And words are not enough to express my gratitude for the gift of eternal life purchased by the blood of God’s own Son, Jesus.

And as if that wasn’t enough, He gives us Spring. What an awesome God!

MIND IF I GRIPE?

I can’t figure out why we are so interested in what other people do in their bedrooms, or even in bedrooms that are not their own. Why so much interest in the sex lives of complete strangers? Is it just me, or do you also wonder what the fascination is.

Watching the on-going media coverage of a sex scandal involving a celebrity or politician is like watching piranhas in a feeding frenzy. Oh, My God! Tiger Woods has slept with countless women (some who have probably never been within arm’s length of him) and has to undergo therapy to help him overcome his “sex addiction.” P L E A S E! And politicians – ah, yes, by the numbers, can’t seem to stay out of bedrooms that are not their own. SO? Do I care? And, if so, WHY?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that “sleeping around” is okay. It’s not okay for me. But what does it have to do with me? Seems to me that those who have difficulty being faithful to their significant other will have to answer to someone who has a greater interest and perhaps the ability to bring about change and offer forgiveness. And that ain’t me.

Okay, the other little irritant today . . . Why so much media coverage and constant talking about the Veep’s little bleeped whispered word to our Prez. Let’s see: we have never heard such language? We have NEVER said a curse word? Our elected officials are pure as the driven snow and should be above uttering such obscenities? Let’s get real. That non-event doesn’t begin to warrant the coverage that it received. What is the matter with us? Obviously, we need some excitement in our lives; something significant to focus on.

Maybe we should turn off the “News” until someone gets the idea that what we’d really like to know is: “What does Michelle wear to bed?”

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

Who said, “hope springs eternal?” It’s true. Recently, I wouldn’t have given you a nickle for the future of this country or the millions of people who are desperate for a little ray of sunshine in their darkest hours. That ray of sunshine blasted through over the weekend when Healthcare Reform finally became a reality and my hope for this nation was renewed. Oh, I know - this is not the “Great Fix” for all of our ills, but it is certainly a step in the right direction in spite of the hysterical rhetoric of the Tea Partiers and our lunatic friend, Rush.

I am saddened by the racial and cultural epithets being hurled around so freely. I think we are better than that. I’m disturbed by the not-so-well disguised threats of violence and suggestions that we should “get our guns ready.” I know we’re better than that. We don’t need guns to bring about change – we have the vote. We don’t shoot people with whom we disagree, we try to work things out and if necessary, agree to disagree. We will never all be on the same page, but in this country we are all allowed to have an opinion and express it. We don’t need to express it in hateful and hurtful ways. WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT!

This country has been a great example of democracy in action through the years and my hope is that we will continue to exemplify greatness - great hearts, great minds, great spirits. See, hope does spring eternal!

ROSE

Rose doesn’t talk any more

Really?

The last time I saw her she talked

And sang with me, smiling; even laughing

Showing her many missing teeth

But not today. Today Rose doesn’t talk any more

Says the care-taker on duty

With a finality that troubles me

Rose’s head hangs low, almost resting on her chest

Eyes half closed, seemingly disinterested

Maybe lost altogether . . . but maybe not

I touch her hand and kneel before her

Rose, don’t you want to sing today?

She can’t hear me, or won’t

We’ll sing some of your favorite songs, Rose

Her eyes close

I strum the guitar and begin to sing

Oh, Susanna, Ain’t She Sweet, My Bonnie, Just a Closer Walk

Finally, Jesus loves me, this I know . . .

Rose lifts her head and smiles at me

I love you, she says.